Heartburn

            As previously established, Nora Ephron was a boss ass bitch. People love her for her screenwriting; trust me, her screenwriting has nothing on her essays. She is a character and her life is rife with material worthy of the written word. Heartburn* is an autobiographical novel, aka it’s a thinly veiled account of her reality. Basically, she takes a true, horrible story and replaces the names.

            I’m not divulging anything that you can’t find on the back cover when I say that Nora Ephron, at seven months pregnant, found out that her high-profile husband, Carl Bernstein, was cheating on her. She got revenge and relief by using her writing skills to publicly embarrass her spouse for his indiscretions. Nora admits the necessity of this work in moving on when she writes, “If I tell the story, I can make you laugh, and I would rather have you laugh at me than feel sorry for me” (Ephron, 177).

            Ever heard of Deep Throat? Not that kind of deep throat. The Nixon kind. Carl Bernstein was one of the original reporters on the Watergate scandal, and he used his Deep Throat connection to substantiate his pieces. With a little clever snooping in the aftermath of the affair, Nora was more than happy to screw her husband by revealing Deep Throat’s identity. Read more about her disclosure here. Between her loud mouth and her relentless writing, she gave Bernstein a taste of his own medicine and cracked his case wide open.

            Nora could explain a complex emotional entanglement like no one else. She’s precise—never missing a slice of the complexity and she’s hilarious—never missing a chance to make you laugh at everyone’s pain. She’s brutally honest about others but she doesn’t spare herself any ridicule. Heartburn is another outlet for her unique, irreverent, hilarious voice. The book reads conversationally, as if she’s telling you a story over a few mimosas at brunch. It also doubles as an intermittent recipe book. One minute, she’ll be talking about her post-affair depressive state; the next, she says, “Another thing I like to eat when I’m feeling blue is bacon hash…” and proceeds with a succinct but thorough recipe (Ephron, 42).

            At the time of publication, Nora got some flak for her uncensored candor and Bernstein even threated to sue for libel. Bernstein-- ummm sorry that you did a bunch of shitty things, which caused your talented estranged wife to produce something that would make her feel less like a victim. Five out of 5 camel humps for this gem and one middle finger to Bernstein.

*Ephron, Nora. Heartburn. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1983. Print. 

*Ephron Nora. “Deep Throat and Me: Now It Can Be Told, and Not for the First Time Either." The Huffington Post. 31 May 2005. Web. 20 Sept. 2017.